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God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Bill Watterson

I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?
BILL WATTERSON

Allowed Hello Rattle Say Stop Swear Words
My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Tiny Trouble
A day can really slip by when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.
BILL WATTERSON

Avoiding Hobbies Slips
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
In the right hands, a comic strip attains a beauty and elegance that, really, I would put against any other art.
BILL WATTERSON

Art Book Comics Hands
Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.
BILL WATTERSON

Faster Reading Sweat
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Jobs Meaningful
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
BILL WATTERSON

Acid Failing Tests
I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON

Doubt Listening Nagging
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
As “Calvin and Hobbes” went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity.
BILL WATTERSON

Drawing Reality Writing
I’M SIGNIFICANT!!! … Say’s the dust speck.
BILL WATTERSON

Dust Say Significant Specks
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Guess Moving School
I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
BILL WATTERSON

Kids Publication School Yearbook

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

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God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes