When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
BILLY CRYSTALI’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
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There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
BILLY CRYSTAL







