black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.

Billy Connolly

I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can’t fly
BILLY CONNOLLY

Adelaide Air Fly Pointed
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Air School
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Acting Consuming Drawing Stuff
When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Accident Alright Funny Humor Thanks
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. “Is this yours?” she asked “probably” said Paddy “she burns everything else”
BILLY CONNOLLY

Baby Delivery Funny Humor Paddy Probably
I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Days Reinvents Two
The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Needs People Round Swings Thinking
I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Britain Europe Thinking
There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dear Different Element Venue
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Jesus
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Department Parent Pet Zoos
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Offending People Religious
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Children Nice Wife
Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Like Place Trying
I don’t aim to offend.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Offended Target The Aim
Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Art Needs Reality

It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.

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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.

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