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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

Bill Bailey

If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
BILL BAILEY

Easier Enough Happiness Thinking Undeniable
Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
BILL BAILEY

Animal Come Fruit Stealing
Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
BILL BAILEY

Funny Humor Keyboard Loose Sound
The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
BILL BAILEY

Biscuits Fire Funny Humor Spontaneous
Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
BILL BAILEY

Confused Harmless Limp Thing Wole
Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
BILL BAILEY

Laughing Lavender Orange
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
BILL BAILEY

College Jobs Thinking Time Whole
Work hard, save and live within your means.
BILL BAILEY

Hard Mean Save Work
Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEY

Funny Humor Long Nostalgia
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
BILL BAILEY

Admire Funny Humor Hurt Ikea
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
BILL BAILEY

Funny Humor Natural Swan
I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
BILL BAILEY

Dollars Funny Humor Work
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
BILL BAILEY

Existentialist Funny Humor
I tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
BILL BAILEY

Quite Sometimes Stressful Way Worry
I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
BILL BAILEY

Ducks Funny Humor Strict
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
BILL BAILEY

Funny God Humor Thank

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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