I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that’s interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy.
BILL HICKSI find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.
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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
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I’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age.
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How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
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A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.
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I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
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You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.
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Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
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We really are All One….this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.
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The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
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If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
BILL HICKS