I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
TINA FEYI feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.
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For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
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If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
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You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.
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‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
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Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
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Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
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In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
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A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
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I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
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You can’t control things by being nervous.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
TINA FEY