Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
TINA FEYSometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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When a man plays a woman in a dress, you’re halfway there. It’s inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it’s not that instant kind of funny.
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An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’
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Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
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Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
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You can’t control things by being nervous.
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My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
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North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
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This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.
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This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
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A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
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I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
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When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?
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I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
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I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
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Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
TINA FEY