“Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.”

You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.

I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.

When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

There are no mistakes only opportunities.

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’

If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you’re asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do.

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.

An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’

You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.

You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

I never met another man I’d rather be. And even if that’s a delusion, it’s a lucky one.

If history teaches anything, it teaches that self-delusion in the face of unpleasant facts is folly.

It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.

All things of the body stream away like a river, all things of the mind are dreams and delusion; life is warfare, and a visit to a strange land; the only lasting fame is oblivion.

There is danger for him who taketh the tiger cub, and danger also for whoso snatches a delusion from a woman.

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.

Such delusions of grandeur to think that a God with a hundred billion galaxies on his mind would give a tuppenny damn who you sleep with, or indeed whether you believe in him.

Faith is belief without evidence and reason; coincidentally that’s also the definition of delusion.