“I just want everyone to know I’m suing Ruben Studdard. He had his hand on my ass and he wouldn’t let go.”

I don’t get tired. I get beat up. You keep chopping on a tree, you need to give the tree some rest so the chlorophyll will fill back up and the tree gets its energy back.

Probably a lack of concentration. I always hit them during practice. I just need to concentrate. Even though I should a lousy percentage,

I’m ready to go. As big men in the league, there are two who have done something special during this millennium. I’m one and Tim Duncan is the other.

The biggest thing that will define my legacy is how I’ve done it, and what I’ve done, and who I am. I’m a weird big guy. Doing rapping, doing movies.

I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.

Talk to the guys that ain’t doing nothing, don’t talk to me. I just want eight guys out there with me who want to play.

Because I grew up with a drill sergeant in my life,

Now that I’m an old, old veteran-age 29-I do things a lot differently. I don’t go to the gentlemen’s clubs anymore. I had to slow that down.

There’s no answer for my offense, just like the polythagorean theorem.

My wrists are crooked and don’t go all the way back. I’ve been practicing and working on them. You can’t do everything good.

I don’t know how it is for you earthlings, but where I’m from, strength is mental.

Get away from my house. What do you want?

I’m still here. I’m a force to be reckoned with… you have to come take my spot, and not through Twitter and not through the media, come take my spot.

If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we’re both going to say ouch.

Przybilla can’t guard me when I’m 27, 37 or 47.

I’m very educated and can give you somewhat of a vocabulary, but I don’t get to the philosophical side.

The truth is, anybody that becomes famous is an ass for a year and a half. You’ve got to give them a year and a half, two years.

Put your trust in the Lord….your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank.

If Britney Spears would paint her ass green, I’m sure you would spot green asses all over L.A., as soon as the word was out.

We have to let nature put what’s left together, and see what it can come up with to save our ass.

The bench press per se is not a risky exercise. When done right, it can help improve upper body strength and size. It’s only when form takes a back seat to numbers and when it’s grossly overtrained that problems result.

You can’t tell somebody to kiss your ass on a scooter!

Don’t be a jerk to other comics and don’t let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you’re going to get somewhere.

We’ve dressed up in our best and are prepared to go down like gentlemen.