If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNSDon’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
More George Burns Quotes
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How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS






