I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITEI go through about 140 cities a year.
More Ron White Quotes
-
-
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITE -
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITE -
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE -
Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
RON WHITE -
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITE -
It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
RON WHITE -
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE -
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITE -
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
RON WHITE -
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE -
I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
RON WHITE -
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE -
I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
RON WHITE -
Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
RON WHITE -
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
RON WHITE -
If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
RON WHITE -
The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
RON WHITE -
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE -
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE -
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE -
There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
RON WHITE -
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE -
I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
RON WHITE -
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE -
My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
RON WHITE -
I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
RON WHITE