If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITEI go through about 140 cities a year.
More Ron White Quotes
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITE






