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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.

Ron White

The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE

Comedy Live Only Part Sharp Show Stay Time Way
I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITE

All Material Me Write
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
RON WHITE

Advertise Before Club Comedy Go Rumour Sell Start Theater
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
RON WHITE

Exercise Exposure Harder Like More Much Muscle Work Writer
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
RON WHITE

Across Bridge Build Comic Kinda One People Through Two Walk
I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE

Ask Band Guy Monkey Rock Understand Venue
You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITE

Fix Stupid
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE

Another Attention Brain Deficit Disability Disorder Information Learn Mean Odd Proces Quite Way
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITE

Back Country Dad Drive Old Range Take Twelve Year
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year
Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITE

Diamond Minute Shut
I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE

Family Include Know Onstage People Think Written
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE

Brain Laugh People Somebody Stage Surgeon Teach Walk
I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
RON WHITE

Famous Heard Made Material People Popular Stuff

I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.

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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.

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Popular Authors

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