Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZ