Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZVerbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZ