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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Al Yankovic

I don’t watch anything on a regular basis – I tend to binge-watch things.
AL YANKOVIC

Anything Base Binge Regular Watch
I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
AL YANKOVIC

Discover Entirely Gave Make Meat Needless Soon Up
So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?
AL YANKOVIC

Differently Kind Somebody Thing Tries Upset
Well I’ve made no secret of my life long love of MAD Magazine, it’s probably my first and greatest influence in terms of my comic sensibilities. I’ve known John [Ficarra] for many years, and we’ve been friends.
AL YANKOVIC

Country First Great Influence Mad Made Nice Probably Secret Year
I’m known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.
AL YANKOVIC

Energy Guy High Kind Known Optimistic
I tend to enunciate pretty well. It’s always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily – which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Character Drawback Easily Enunciate People Pretty Recognize Seem Tenth Voice
As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.
AL YANKOVIC

Certain Do Fun Kid Something Spend Thought
Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You’ll have plenty of time to be low-key when you’re laid out on the slab.
AL YANKOVIC

Grab Gusto Inspirational Key Lead Low Out Time
I’m an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I’m a relation to Frankenstein’s creation.
AL YANKOVIC

Acne Bag Everywhere Facial Girl Hair Make Ugly Unwanted
In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, “Yes, of course they have, they’ve thought of it!”
AL YANKOVIC

Come Fact Google Idea Parody Resist Someone
I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.
AL YANKOVIC

Again Bathtub Have Piranhas Problem Relationship
There’s a lot of different ways that a song would be a challenge to parody.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Challenge Clever Different Fashion Lot Parody Sign Song
Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you’ll be watching TV, and it’ll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you’ll actually find yourself thinking,
AL YANKOVIC

Fin Yourself Interrupt Moment People Television Think Watch
I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!
AL YANKOVIC

Album Always Come Enjoy Guy People Record Script
Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.
AL YANKOVIC

Album Band Bet Cattle Garage Nirvana Our Raise Seattle Sure
I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.
AL YANKOVIC

Different Difficult Figure Out Same Sometimes Thing

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

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