“I don’t watch anything on a regular basis – I tend to binge-watch things.”

Beans, beans, the magic legumes – the more you ingest, the more you consume.

At this point I’ve got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when ‘Weird Al’ wants to go parody, it’s not meant to make them look bad… it’s meant to be a tribute.

I don’t want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that’s more my personal taste.

I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world – even shows that haven’t been on the air for a very long time, that’s going to be harder to pull off.

Sometimes I get, “Have you ever thought about doing real music?” I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.

On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.

There’s enough people that do unfunny music. I’ll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

In the ’80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.

I don’t care about making anything new. I make music to express an emotion, and if the emotion is nostalgic, so be it.

I can’t do anything in moderation.

If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.

When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.

The first rule of making progress in anything you do is setting goals, allowing yourself to always have a finish line in sight. This provides a boost in motivation during those moments when slogging forward seems impossible, giving you something tangible to work towards at every moment.

More than anything else, I’d like to be an old man with a good face, like Hitchcock or Picasso.

If you grow yourself to become a successful person, in strength of character and mind, you will naturally be successful in anything and everything you do.

If you would test the character of anything, you only need to enquire whether that thing leads you to God or away from God.