“Well I’ve made no secret of my life long love of MAD Magazine, it’s probably my first and greatest influence in terms of my comic sensibilities. I’ve known John [Ficarra] for many years, and we’ve been friends.”

I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.

A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.

They somehow didn’t see the need for an accordion player. That’s when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.

I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it’s very difficult to figure out where I fit.

So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they’re not afraid of wolves.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

When I was a kid, I thought I was going to be an architect, because when I was 12 years old I had a guidance counselor that convinced me that that was the best career choice for me.

So I’m one of the few celebrities that got to do a repeat performance on ‘The Simpsons,’ which I’m very flattered by.

I’m known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

My hobbies just sort of gradually became my vocation.

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.

I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was extremely amusing.

I was a huge fan of ‘Mad’ magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I’d scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I’d wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.

It doesn’t take a military genius to see we’ll all be crispy critters after World War III.

I also maintain that clear knowledge of natural science must be acquired, in the first instance, through mastery of medicine alone.

If forced to choose between the penitentiary and the White House for four years, I would say the penitentiary, thank you.

The first and most imperative necessity in war is money, for money means everything else — men, guns, ammunition.

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.

There are two sides to this Baptism: The first is, you possess the Spirit; The second is that the Spirit possesses you.

Whoever wishes to investigate medicine should proceed thus: In the first place, consider the seasons of the year and what effect each of them produces.

When in sickness, look to the spine first.

The means or instrument of the first is sense; of the second, dialectic; of the third, intuition.