“Because you’re supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go “Oh, it’s ‘Weird Al.'””

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I’ll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I’ll go bowling.

I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

I’m always a little leery about doing shows where I’m not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes.

My wife went off with Elvis.

As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.

The music has always been my bread and butter, and I’ve focused more of my attention on that.

By the time I’m in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.

I don’t really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I’ve never been to therapy so there’s probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don’t know.

Ever since the day you left me, I’ve been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

I’m free to do what I please, I’m probably not going to do albums. Just because I think releasing tracks as singles is a better way for me to stay topical.

Pop culture’s gotten much more disposable.

How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you’re doing?

I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.

I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art!

Not any specific one, but I was a huge fan of Frank Jacobs, I guess he wrote the plurality of the song parodies for MAD, Sam Hart, a few others, but that was also where I was first exposed to the art form of song parodies.

People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.

The wise soul feareth not death; rather she sometimes striveth for death, she goeth beyond to meet her. Yet eternity maintaineth her substance throughout time, immensity throughout space, universal form throughout motion.

English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education – sometimes it’s sheer luck, like getting across the street.

Some of us – poets are not exactly poets. We live sometimes – beyond the word.

Sometimes in the real world, there is fire between people.

Sometimes I think that a parody of democracy could be more dangerous than a blatant dictatorship, because that gives people an opportunity to avoid doing anything about it.

Sometimes I think too much fuss is made about marriage. Century after century of carnal embracement and we’re still no nearer to understanding one another.

Sometimes this fellow’s music was like little colored pieces of crystal candy, and other times it was the softest, saddest thing she had ever imagined about.

I go through my comments sometimes, and I’ll just take snapshots of the terrible ones and send them to my friends.