“It’s very much a “Weird Al” themed issue, so I’d like to think that there’s a lot of “Weird Al” flavor throughout but I think it’d be generous really to call me an editor.”

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows.

On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.

There’s enough people that do unfunny music. I’ll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

In the ’80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.

I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people’s heads.”

Right now I’m listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT’S MY JOB.

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’

I’m a big fan of political editor Allegra Stratton.

I’m no editor, no artisan, no expert. And certainly no arbiter of what you should buy, wear, or eat.

The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.

About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.

I never saw myself as a director. It’s certainly a second language but making movies for 40 years, you pick stuff up. However, this style of making movies, this documentary style, is easier for me because I gather a lot of material and with an editor, write it on screen. You try to write based on what you shot.

I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.

A book of poems doesn’t just come out by chance, an editor has to select it, a publisher has to distribute it or you will never see it.

As Christians, we are to be newsboys and not editors of the gospel.