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I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.

Related Topics

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

So I try not to pick songs that I know would drive me crazy.
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Crazy Drive Know Pick Song Try
They somehow didn’t see the need for an accordion player. That’s when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.
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According Life Need Own Path Player Realize Somehow
My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.
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Although Dough Mean Some Velvet World Worth
Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.
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Do Good Know Them Thing Until
Now with internet culture it seems like everyone is doing music parodies. And they’re not all good!
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All Culture Do Everyone Good Internet Music Now Parody Seem
What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist’s performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
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Artist Attention Austin Kind More Music
Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
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Buck Channel Midget Month Wres
There aren’t that many superstars around anymore.
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Anyone Around Many Superstar
I’ve always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it!
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Album Always Come Enjoy Guy People Record Script
Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.
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never Put Velvet Weight
My wife went off with Elvis.
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Off Went Wife
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
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Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless
And then I’ll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.
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Arrange Cohesive Semi Story Try Way
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
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My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
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Brother Children Hate Only Child Sister
He died a long painful death. However, you’ll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
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Better Death Little Long Look Nerdy People Year
I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.
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Abuduct Fair Kind Look Space
I’m very analytical, I’m very precise.
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Analytical Precise Very
So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?
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Differently Kind Somebody Thing Tries Upset
I don’t watch anything on a regular basis – I tend to binge-watch things.
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Anything Base Binge Regular Watch
They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It’s amazing.
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So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.
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Continue Day Joke That Up Very
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
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My hobbies just sort of gradually became my vocation.
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Gradually Hobby Sort Vocation
Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I’d just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.
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Another Better Chance Drawer Guy Movie Script
I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.
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Abusive Column Editor Equally Letter Mad Normal Ongoing Think Tomato
A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.
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Artist Supportive Year

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