“When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.”

I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.

Whining is anger through a small opening.

The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had.

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

My dad was a terrible businessman.

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.

My mom sold real estate and did it part time.

Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.

It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate.

I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.

There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.