“And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.”

I believe in not attacking a country pre-emptively unless you’re sure of what you’re doing and you’re working with allies.

The institutions that we’ve built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don’t apply to the private sector.

If you want a free email service that doesn’t use your words to target ads to you, you’ll have to figure out how to port years and years of Gmail messages somewhere else, which is about as easy as developing your own free email service.

I got interested in politics during the civil rights movement and then Vietnam.

Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.

During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.

I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.

I hope you realize, in a democracy, laughter is assent.

Tend to be people who didn’t take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.

If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.

A blogger should have the same ability to find an audience as a media conglomerate.

You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.

I just can’t sit still and meditate; that doesn’t kind of work for me. I don’t even know exactly what it means.

I’ve tried not to get too bogged down by what people want you to be.

What does democracy come down to? The persuasive power of slogans invented by wily self-seeking politicians.

Travel with the same woman in a railway car for twelve hours, and you will have written her down in your own mind in quite other language than that of love.

Worry, doubt, fear and despair are the enemies which slowly bring us down to the ground and turn us to dust before we die.

Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

You waste a lot of time going down blind alleys if you have no one to lead you.

I just talk about what’s going on, but of course, you know, Bob, before rappers, was already laying that kind of thing down.

Every man worships the dollar, and is down before his shrine from morning to night… Other men, the world over, worship regularly at the shrine with matins and vespers, nones and complines, and whatever other daily services may be known to the religious houses; but the New Yorker is always on his knees.