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I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.

Al Franken

When people talked about protecting their privacy when I was growing up, they were talking about protecting it from the government.
AL FRANKEN

Government Growing People Privacy Protect Talk Up
Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’
AL FRANKEN

Go Honest Kidding No Oh Really
Ralph Nader is a hero. I know Ralph, and I call him up occasionally. He’s helped me out on a couple of occasions when I’ve given speeches to corporations where he’d have a good… He’d give me some good information.
AL FRANKEN

Call Couple Give Good Help Hero Know Occasionally Speech
We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren’t rich – but we felt secure.
AL FRANKEN

Bath Bedroom Felt House Live One Rich Secure Two
Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
AL FRANKEN

Contraception Down Increase Pregnancy Use Way Went
To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.
AL FRANKEN

Ask Bias Conservative Liberal Like Mainstream Much Oil Think Use
Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
AL FRANKEN

Being Dog Master Raise Sense Service Well
During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Bob Ceremony Country During Each Evil Include Live Present President
You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections – the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?
AL FRANKEN

Delete Dominant Establish Facebook Opinion Political Really Social Spend World Year
When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Comedy Contradict Encounter Good Seemingly
And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.
AL FRANKEN

Book Down Easy Fun Information Laugh Make People Think Understand Write
Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
AL FRANKEN

Actually Bad Good Grown Help Love One Understanding Up
My dad was a terrible businessman.
AL FRANKEN

Businessman Dad Terrible
At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.
AL FRANKEN

Axe Belief Felt Grind Left Out Own Political Snow Stuff Wrote
But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Chosen Electoral Everyone God Good Gore Make Popular Sure Thought Vote Work
If Republicans eliminate Medicare, America will become a country in which you can never retire – and once you physically can no longer work, you are desperately poor until you die.
AL FRANKEN

Country Desperate Die Eliminate Medicare Poor Republican Retire
My parents didn’t make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate.
AL FRANKEN

Career Dad Graduate High Lot Money School
Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.
AL FRANKEN

Build Conservative Conserve Fought Progressive Want Way
By best, I mean when I have a real sense of doing the right thing and doing good for people and the connected universe of everybody.
AL FRANKEN

Best Connect Do Everybody Good Mean People Real Right Sense Thing Universe
I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.
AL FRANKEN

Angry Media Right Wing
I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
AL FRANKEN

Class Country Grow Job Kid Lucky Middle Parent Time Up World
But adult love means you’re not in denial, and you want the loved one to be the best they can be.
AL FRANKEN

Adult Be Best Can Love Mean One
I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.
AL FRANKEN

Bipolar Earth Exist Hell People Physical Psychological State Think
If you want a free email service that doesn’t use your words to target ads to you, you’ll have to figure out how to port years and years of Gmail messages somewhere else, which is about as easy as developing your own free email service.
AL FRANKEN

Develop Else Email Figure Free Gmail Message Out Port Service Somewhere Target Want Word Year
I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
AL FRANKEN

Book Crush Responsibility Satirical Write
Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Attention Bad Good Growth Help Love Mean Talk Understand
I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
AL FRANKEN

Career Entire Satirist Spent

I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.

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I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.

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Popular Authors

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