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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

Aisha Tyler

I like grown up comedy.
AISHA TYLER

Comedy Grown Like Up
I’ve just got to be myself and hopefully people will find me. And my audience did find me.
AISHA TYLER

Audience Find Hopefully Myself People
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
AISHA TYLER

Bad Good Grateful Omnipresence Suppose Thing Thinking Want
I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
AISHA TYLER

Ass Boss My Own Total
I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
AISHA TYLER

Absolutely Baby Dynasty Fan Giant Long Time
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
AISHA TYLER

Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
AISHA TYLER

Behind Fire Look Old Slow Sown Stone Want
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
AISHA TYLER

Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
AISHA TYLER

Comfortable Foibe Hide Instead Longer Show Stand Think Up Wanting
You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
AISHA TYLER

Fail Failure Fun Hard Learn Need Winning
Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
AISHA TYLER

Always Away Funny Going People Regular Run Story
“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
AISHA TYLER

Anyone Failure Fall Going Many Powered Success
I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
AISHA TYLER

Black Crack Doe Droop
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
AISHA TYLER

Bad Culture Great Pop Time
I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Attorney Comedy Living Something Wanted
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
AISHA TYLER

Cell Doing Funny Girlfriend Phone Quick Radio Spot Stranger Undone

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

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