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I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.

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Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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