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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.

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Actually Almost Down Lying More Myself Satisfying

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TV always wants more people to be watching.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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I like grown up comedy.
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I really do know football.
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Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
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I’ve always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
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the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
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But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
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I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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