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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

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Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking

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So everything is all the same job in my eyes, and I don’t want to ever give up any part of it.
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
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I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.
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