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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

Adam Carolla

I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLA

Calm Fine Natural Real Realist Sexist Simple
Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA

Head Hungarian Paprikash Reader Some Toss World
I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA

Funny Humor Month Potentially Really Trying Two Week
Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLA

Buc Focus Made Making Nickle Saving
I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Each Friend Man Men Other Sex Spouse Thinking Tolerate Wife
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLA

Everyone Fiscally Hollywood Leaving Republican Shoot Thinking
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLA

Experience Horrible Job Learned Mean
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
ADAM CAROLLA

Funny Humor never Next One Thought Two
I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
ADAM CAROLLA

Call Dish Giving Head Hungarian Night Paprikash Sorry World
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
ADAM CAROLLA

Equivalent Fat Giving Government Morning Overwhelmed People Person Sending
The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
ADAM CAROLLA

Art Beautiful Car
If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bird Human Remain Size Street Tax
Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
ADAM CAROLLA

Allow Atheist Guilt Man Myself Screw Sex Ten
The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Boom Fast Next Podcast Radio Segment Thing Very
There are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLA

Better Certain Expert Man Thing Unique Women
I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLA

Finished Funny Humor Masturbatory Pizza Session Two

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

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