Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t know anything about computers.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLA