We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t know anything about computers.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA