Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
BILL MAHEROne of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
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Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
BILL MAHER