“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?

Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.

At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The “Power of One” is a slogan – not a goal.

Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?

Death is nature’s way of killing you.

In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.

You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.

You can put truth in a different book, but it’s still real. It’s still the truth.

Even when your tears have soaked through the last pages of your book, the sun will dry them and illuminate every word of your story.

Books are certainly old fashioned, but only people with a very limited perception are silly enough to condemn ideas because of their age.

Every book that you read has taught you a lesson, a lesson you will cherish forever.

Every day is a routine: you wake up, go to work or school, get tired, watch TV shows or read books, and then go to bed – and so on in a circle. Did you recognize yourself? It’s a shame because this is the wrong approach.

Books are best to improve focus on life.

I want to fold you into my book, like a petal, so that you’d never leave.

In the end, I closed our book and never dared to read it again.