We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
BILL MAHERIf you think you have it tough, read history books.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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Death is nature’s way of killing you.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
BILL MAHER