Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
TIM ALLENI blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
TIM ALLEN