To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
BILL MAHERIt’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
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There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
BILL MAHER -
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
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Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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Death is nature’s way of killing you.
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
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It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
BILL MAHER