“Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.”

I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.

Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.

If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.

Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.

When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.

We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.

In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.

The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?

The people who love you will see through the walls that you’ve built up and will love you even more.

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.

How do you compete against a true fanatic? You can only try to build the best possible moat and continuously attempt to widen it.

I always say that the real success of Wine Library wasn’t due to the videos I posted, but to the hours I spent talking to people online afterward, making connections and building relationships.

When a man starts out to build a world, He starts first with himself

Building trust is key to discovering and understanding your buyers’ motives.

The Lord is more anxious to forgive our sins than a woman is to carry her baby out of a burning building.

Now look, you built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea, God Bless, keep a big hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and paid forward for the next kid who comes along.