But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
TIM ALLENBe wary of listening to stories secondhand.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
TIM ALLEN