“If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?”

If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.

Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.

When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.

We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.

In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.

The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?

The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.

You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

I’m proud of my Native American heritage.

Being Native American has been part of my story I guess since the day I was born.

I’ll never forget where I’m from, never forget my roots. It doesn’t matter where I live. I’m English, simple as that.

Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity.

Research has shown that once a person believes in a particular aspect of their identity, they are more likely to act in alignment with that belief.

I’m the original take-orders girl.

I am a Negro: Black as the night is black, Black like the depths of my Africa.

I’m Irish. We think sideways.