The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHERThe Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHERSome people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
BILL MAHERAnyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
BILL MAHERJust honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
BILL MAHERTalk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
BILL MAHERHave you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHERCurious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHERHere’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
BILL MAHERI do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
BILL MAHERTrusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
BILL MAHERBased on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
BILL MAHERLittle do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHERI don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHERThe First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
BILL MAHERWe had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
BILL MAHERIf you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHER