The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
AMBROSE BIERCEPresent, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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