REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCEQuotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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