I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLINEven when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
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I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
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There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN