“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.

I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

The more unknowable the mystery, the more beautiful it is.

I sell my pain in beauty. Wrap it in words. Package it in pleasantries, and deliver it in verse.

We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she’ll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

The process is the most beautiful part.

My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece

This was one of those special occasions when I could actually feel the inner appreciation of the beauty of the moment passing like an electric current through the brush in my hand.

True beauty is knowing who you are and what you want and never apologizing for it.