How come abbreviated is such a long word?
STEVEN WRIGHTShin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHT