I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKERVice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER -
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER -
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER