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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

Dorothy Parker

It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Kill Mess Myself Tragedy
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death People Young
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Surprise Woman
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER

Myself Tone View Voice
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beautiful Clean Deep Order Skin Ugly
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER

Act Quick
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Life Study Theft Yourself
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Normal Popular
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Dirty Hands Nature Play Target Yourself
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

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