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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

Dorothy Parker

I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKER

Mindset True Writing
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Enough Friendship Funny Home Need Place Room
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER

Avoid Best Drink Stay Way
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Mom Pregnant Yourself
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bed Himself Voice
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER

Art Seat Writing
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER

Old Teaching Trick Yourself
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER

Goodness Money Myself Togetherness Writing
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Feeling Hurt Necessary Yourself
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER

One Liner Revenge Writing
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER

Sick Storm
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

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