The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKERThe only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKERThe definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERTake me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKERThose who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKERHeterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKERA girl’s best friend is her mutter.
DOROTHY PARKERQuick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKERIf you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKERDucking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKEROh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKERTime may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
DOROTHY PARKERThat woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKERA liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
DOROTHY PARKERAnd I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKERTake me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKERThere’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER