On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
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Better laid than never.
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Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.
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Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
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She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius’ bathroom floor.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, ‘Let me help you with those buttons’ and I told him, ‘I’m completely naked’.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERS -
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
JOAN RIVERS