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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

Dorothy Parker

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER

Herself Leadership Thinking Yourself
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beautiful Clean Deep Order Skin Ugly
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Normal Popular
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Hate Hell Identity Love Myself Yourself
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fools Myself Sorry Touch
It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER

Entertainment Fun Goodness Myself
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER

Burn Heart Myself Safety Scars
He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Children Forever Himself Time Writing
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Food Growth Taste

People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

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