For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECKIf a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK