I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
ERMA BOMBECKEvery puppy should have a boy.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK







