Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECKEvery puppy should have a boy.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK