If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn’t scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
JOAN RIVERSI have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn’t remember the lines.
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My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.
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I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’
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Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.
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I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.
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Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up – and gay men should stand up at least halfway.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian — and I stand by it: He’s the daughter Cher wishes she’d had.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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You have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”
JOAN RIVERS