“I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.”

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.

Every puppy should have a boy.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.

Have you ever felt trapped in circumstances, then discovered that the only trap was your own lack of vision, lack of courage, or failure to see that you had better options?

By the help of microscopes, there is nothing so small, as to escape our inquiry; hence there is a new visible world discovered to the understanding.

One sometimes finds what one is not looking for. When I woke up just after dawn on Sept. 28, 1928, I certainly didn’t plan to revolutionize all medicine by discovering the world’s first antibiotic, or bacteria killer. But I guess that was exactly what I did.

We will never obtain God’s kind of marriage simply by going along with the crowd, doing what everybody else does. We have to dig deep into the heart of God to discover His principles.

I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go.

A new truth always has to conend with many difficulties. If it were not so, it would have been discovered much sooner.

Friendships are discovered rather than made.

But I know also that still more interesting discoveries will be made that I have not the imagination to describe – and I am awaiting them, full of curiosity and enthusiasm.