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Erma Bombeck Quote - I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.

I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.

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Discover Myself Science Worry

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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Design Fashion Human Literature Myself
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Bed Boredom Family Mom Myself
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Care Home Myself Theory Work Yourself
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Communication Inspirational Life Listening Suffering
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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